Some days are easier than others. Some days aren't so easy, but we power through them anyway. I'm torn this week.
Over the weekend, I was lucky enough to have a wonderful night out with Amy, host steak night at our house, and enjoy our final Gymboree class with Cullen. Amy and I managed to spend a little time at the Galleria and a lot of time at Block 7. It is a trendy wine bar that serves great food. Perfect for visiting and relaxing. Steak night started out as a recipe experiment and ended with dinner for 7. We certainly can't eat like that every single day, but it was a decadent evening. I even made a bread pudding. Yum.
Gymboree is so entertaining these days. Cullen has finally gotten to an independent enough state that he loves to run around the room and play while I observe more. For now, we have run out of classes. When we initially signed up, I could pay for three months at a time and use them whenever I pleased. It worked out really great for our little family, because I never felt like Cullen had to go to class at a certain time. If we didn't use it this week, we would use it next week. No big deal. Now, Gymboree requires you to pay each month, and you have the opportunity to make up your missed classes at a later time. Unfortunately, they won't let me pay for just a couple of classes each month, so we just can't go to Gymboree right now. I'm hoping that situation will be changing soon. I already miss that special time!
On Monday, I got a holiday for President's Day. Cullen and I managed to squeeze in some errands, a visit to the zoo, and a lunch with James. It was busy and exhausting for both of us, and it really made me miss my days at home with Cullen. When we are debt free, I'll be back at home with Cullen. I know we're making steady progress, but it sure does seem slow. I hate living for some random day.
As if it wasn't hard enough to return to work on Tuesday, Cullen cried and cried and cried on the way to school. On our way out through the garage, he decided it was an opportune moment to take his little car for a spin. When I tried to put him in his car seat, he lunged himself out and held onto my neck for dear life. Of course, he cried when we dropped him off, so I cried when we dropped him off. This morning was no better. It breaks my heart. I know that the decision to work or stay home needs to happen individually for each family, but I just don't get how anyone could leave their child at school all day and not be bothered. I'm not saying one side or the other is right or wrong. I just don't get it. I don't care to.
I only have a few flex days left to enjoy my long weekends with Cullen, and I intend to make the most of them. I also intend to make the most of every day I have with him. Yesterday, I read (and posted) a story about another little family in a town very close to us. Last Thursday, their little girl stopped breathing. They have no idea what happened or why, but she just stopped breathing. For their sake, I'm hoping they can get some answers. I cried as I read their story. What an awful reminder to cherish every moment.
Last night, I didn't make as much of a "meal" as I normally do. I didn't even make a vegetable. Cullen ate mandarin oranges. That's nutritious. Not the same as the broccoli I had planned, but I wasn't concerned. Instead of spending time keeping Cullen off the stove knobs, I spent time taking him for a walk when we got home. He loves being outside, and I love seeing his smile. I'm going to start trying to prep dinner before work each day. My hope is to just be able to pull pots out of the fridge each evening and let dinner cook while we walk and play. Cullen deserves the best of everything, and my everything includes my time and attention.
I hope you're giving your loved ones the best of your everything.