This week has been tough on me. The whole looking-for-a-job thing is getting old. I love being at home with Cullen. I miss being in an office. I do activities with Cullen every day. I worry he's missing out by not being in school. Why God why?
Being a parent isn't easy, and choosing a caregiver when you aren't around is even more difficult. I want someone who would do just as good a job as I would, but is that really even possible? Decisions, decisions.
I want to go on a date without worrying how he will be treated and what could happen. Becoming a parent was a deliberate decision. Parenting is a repetitive series of deliberate decisions. Tough, deliberate decisions.
Can I get a vacation?