Kids Say The Funniest Things

I really don't want to forget these gems, so I have to post them. I hope Cullen is always this funny.

We have a favorite empanada place we go to every so often to meet friends for dinner. When Cullen heard that we were meeting Jamie and Keaton for dinner, he asked if we were going to the emchipilada place.

When we ask Cullen if he's doing something he shouldn't be, he regularly responds with, "No I amn't." Close enough to a real word.

Cullen loves Johnny Cash, and he loves Fulsom Prison Blues. When we were at dinner recently, he was on the playground when it came on. He came running over to us and screamed, "It's Johnny Cash." I love it.

We were in the backyard playing last month (February 2014), and we got to talking:

Cullen: "Mommy, are you beautiful?"

Mommy: "I don't know, Cullen. What do you think?"

Cullen: "Daddy says yes."

One of those important talks on the drive home:

Cullen: "Mommy, where do moles live?"

Mommy: "Moles live in holes."

Cullen: "Why do moles live in holes?"

Mommy: "Because it rhymes."

**Upon googling this subject to find an answer, I have discovered that moles do in fact live in holes.**

James was out of town for work, both boys were asleep in their beds, and I was trying to clean up the house and prep for the next day when Cullen popped up out of nowhere. He scared me, and my remark was "Jesus." Let's be honest. I'm thankful that's all I said. Cullen's response? "Do you always talk to Jesus when I'm sleeping?"

One day, Cullen got in trouble on the drive home for being a stubborn little smart aleck. I have no idea where he gets it from. On top of being wrong, he repeatedly insisted, "I'm right, and you're wrong." I had already passed my breaking point, so I told him as he stepped on my foot on the way out of the car to go straight to time out and think about how we talk to others. Within a few minutes, he was out of time out and had apologized. He was being way too helpful and a great big brown-noser.

Mommy: "I know what you're trying to do here"

Cullen: "I'm trying to be less bad."

Busted.

Cullen regularly asks the name of the song on the radio. He does this so he can request the song by name when he wants to hear it. He really loves Blurred Lines. I know. So appropriate for a four year old. I always make sure we're listening to the edited version, but, for some reason, I missed the fact that the word bitch is still a part of the song. There were no words the morning Cullen asked, "Mommy, why they say hottest bitch in this place." I told him I didn't know, changed the station, and relinquished my opportunity to win mom of the year. Ever.

My favorite of all was this one from just a couple of nights ago on the way home from tee ball. 

Cullen: "Five year olds have big penises."

Mommy: "Why would you say that, Cullen?"

Cullen: "I just thinked about it. My heart just said it, and I heared it."

There are no words. I am way out of my league.

xoxo ashley